Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
