is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
