Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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