where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
