Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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