Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
