I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
