Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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