I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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