New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
