the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
