I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
