I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
