it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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