I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
