he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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