just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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