i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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