dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
