I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
