thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
