I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
