Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
