where am i from again
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
