Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
