the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
