i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
