remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
