Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
