if i can run in heels then i can drive
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
whose ass print is on the piano?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
