butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have aggressive nipples.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
