I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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