it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I still have a little drunk in my system
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
