I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
