Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
