i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
