Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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