Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
