wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
