he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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