You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
