that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm bleeding and have questions
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