it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize