First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
too bad you live with your parents still
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
