I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
