One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
