According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
