i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
