watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
