I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
