Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
