THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
