I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
In America we eat man semen.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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