You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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