oh god the rape fog is back!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
