Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It was confusing and full of hummus
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
