1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
