i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
