Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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