i would punch a child for taco bell
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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