i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she peed on how many people?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
