kristin has been a bad kristin
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
